How the regular use of smoke and mirrors may result in a state of delusion

As June arrives the reminders to send birthday greetings, wedding presents and graduation congratulation reach a fever pitch. What begins in mid May as a gentle spring shower of reminders set in dairies reaches storm level proportions around Memorial Day and continues as a regular summer shower clear through the end of June.  This year is no different save for the change of a country June wedding for a suburban christening or a graduation in the exotic east  replaced by a friends business opening in San Francisco.  The birthday's thankfully are by their very nature set and can be planned for well in advance and are loving highpoints of the month's socials.   Last June's noted birthday celebrations, a charming and lively afternoon tea party for a beloved lady celebrating her 90th, is replaced by this years touchy marking of another passing year alive of  a man who has stayed far too long in the world inhabited by street arabs on the make as a street arab on the make.  The joy of a 91st birthday of a genle cultures lady is fast followed by a marking of another year in a fools life.  The fool saddened by hisown perceptions of what desirability is and challenged by what stares back at him in his mirror enters his 50th year in a mood more depressing than June gloom over Rodeo Drive!

The wry quip, " it's all smoke and mirror's" while a desirable truth when describing the interior of nightclubs is less so when used to describe emotional states, investment portfolio's and provenance of antiques.  It seems the enjoyment of self, the truth of self, as the well adjusted individual actually lives, is a grace not given to this man or his circle.  That very singular benefit of being older, chiefly being comfortable in your own skin as robustly celebrated by a very young 91 year old friend has alluded this man.  The gloom is the only end point possible in a rather long sad personal narrative which would best be shelved under minor works of mid 20th century American fiction  concerning train wrecks rather than autobiography.  From a stated pedigree of descent from landed Californio's ranch owners(debunked by his mother who was raised in an apartment by children of immigrants) a childhood upbringing in St. Francis Wood ( Southern Hills in Daly City-West Portal in San Francisco),to a proud Italian-American heritage ( Paternal bio grandfather was American Jewish) to claims of being a Psychologist ( an M.S from San Francisco State) to his decorator's claim to having attended U.C.Berkeley (a U.C. Berkeley extension course) the man's life gives proof to the truth there is one born every minute! The end being that in comparison, attendance at Doris Fishbein's wedding would have more cultural gravitas and resulting social desirability than an invitation to a celebration of a life led as a study in fraud. 

It is, I suppose, a reason to play dress up, get gussied up in fake fur, dig out and sport that naughty cache of  fake Rolex's and counterfeit couture that none of us have and prance and parade amongst the birds of a feather that Mission District socialites attract, a sort of waspish carnival, or Chad goes to the Cotton Club for  a dress up party. It's just a matter of the right attitude, being the perfect lady and gentleman at a party, not signing anything, or making future lunch date plans with the attendant Mafia, checking the crib notes as to what the party line regarding year of birth is this year  and by no means bringing a date and staying for no more than an hour,  to succeed in enjoyable the affair.  The one good thing that comes of the boldness of the lies that this man, his family and inner circle of friends live,  is that no one but they believe the charade and no one but a rather odd and strange lover street arabs drinks the host's cool -aid.  The disagreeable business of mingling with liars is that they are more fearful not of the guests finding where the bodies lie or the gravity of the crimes committed but rather of  the actual dates and years said crimes were committed.  

A gentleman is a gentleman in any social situation and a personal lesson can be gained  if  attendance at said event is used to celebrate the truth of the beauty of a life lived discretely and honestly.  It is than a foil, the contrast serving the true well.  So than honestly it is easy to say "many happy returns of the day" to the assembled crew of the ship of fools. and hasten on to another summer fair with a true heart!